


On the Edge of Tonight

by wordcraze



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Coming of Age, F/M, M/M, Oral Sex, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-19
Updated: 2015-04-19
Packaged: 2018-03-22 16:40:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3736096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordcraze/pseuds/wordcraze
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry is a charming Gryffindor, and Zayn is a quiet Ravenclaw. They meet on the Hogwarts Express as eleven year olds, and Harry has been infatuated with him ever since. </p><p>A coming of age story in which the boys are the modern day Marauders, chronicling their mishaps from their first year at Hogwarts to their last.</p><p>Hogwarts AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On the Edge of Tonight

**Author's Note:**

  * For [contemporarydreamer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/contemporarydreamer/gifts).



**First Year.**

Harry Styles is eleven-years old, and he's sitting by the window in one of the Hogwarts Express compartments. His mouth is full of chocolate frog, courtesy of the boy named Niall who just so happens to have an abundance of sweets. 

"I've got Godric Gryffindor," Niall says, holding up his Chocolate Frog card. "I've got about ten of him. Mum says it's a sign of my future House. But dad's a Hufflepuff, so really, I could go to either." 

Harry's family is composed of different Houses (his sister, Gemma, is in Ravenclaw), so he's grown up appreciating each one, but he did have a bias. His mother had been sorted into Gryffindor, and he wanted to mirror her independence and bravery, and perhaps he would be chosen for Gryffindor as well. Though he is always told that being in any House is a big honor. 

The carriage door suddenly slides open, and in walks two boys. 

"Got room for a couple more?" asks the one who introduces himself as Louis. But Harry's attention is focused on Louis' quiet companion by the doorway. "This is Zayn," Louis says, and Zayn gives a brief smile, and a half-hearted wave. 

It doesn't take long for Louis and Niall to be completely engrossed in an argument about who was the better team between the Ballycastle Bats and the Chudley Cannons, leaving Harry and Zayn to entertain themselves. Zayn is awfully quiet, and looks uncomfortable as he fiddles with the long sleeves of his robe. 

Harry picks up another Chocolate Frog, tears the package open, then takes out the card. "Oh, I've got Mirabella Plunkett." 

Zayn stops twisting the sleeve of his robe, and looks up at Harry. "I, erm... I don't think I have that card yet." 

Harry grins, turning his body to face Zayn. "My sister told me all about Mirabella Plunkett. Apparently, she fell in love with a merman, but her family disapproved of it, so then she turned herself into a haddock. Pretty dramatic, huh?" 

"Yeah, a bit," Zayn says, his nose wrinkling. "Sad though." 

After a short pause, Harry holds out the card to Zayn, "Here, you keep it. I've already got this one in my collection." That was a lie, but Harry didn't mind. At the rate he ate Chocolate Frogs, he was bound to come across another. 

A faint smile tugs on Zayn's lips, and when he hesitantly accepts the card, Harry can't help but feel like he accomplished something big. 

\- - - 

**Third Year.**

This is the first time Harry and the other third years are permitted to join in on weekend Hogwarts trips, and they are all buzzing with the thrill of it. The streets are blanketed in white snow, serving as the perfect, picturesque setting, and Harry's body is shivering, though he doesn't know if it's due to the cold or excitement. 

Harry and Niall are with their fellow Gryffindors, walking down High Street, when they spot a group of students with emerald green and silver scarves making their way into the Three Broomsticks. But one breaks away from the group and excitedly bounds across the snowy street. 

"Lads!" Louis nudges himself between Harry and Niall, and throws an arm over each of them, then he leads them away from the other Gryffindors. "Where's Zayn?" 

"He said he'd meet us in front of Honeydukes," Niall replies, and there's a pep in his step at the mention of the sweet shop. 

It's a bit of a rare sight, to see a Slytherin wedged between two Gryffindors, with his arms over their shoulders. Especially a Slytherin like Louis, who comes from a prominent Pureblood family who makes hefty donations to Hogwarts. The tension between the two Houses is still very much present despite the encouragement for civility. But Harry and Niall don't take the rivalry all that seriously, and Louis just finds it petty and pointless. 

The boys spot Zayn standing in front of Honeydukes, and his blue and bronze scarf is bundled up to his chin. Harry breaks off from the group, runs ahead, and jumps on Zayn's back. The Ravenclaw boy grunts, stumbles forward, and tries to shake Harry off. 

"Get off me, you animal!" Zayn laughs, and Harry eventually slides off before pulling Zayn into the shop with Niall and Louis trailing close behind them. 

Harry loves Honeydukes, with its walls lined with all sorts of candies and sweets imaginable, decorated in bright-colored wrappers, with delicious scents emanating from them. He feels a light poke on his shoulder, and he turns to see Zayn brandishing a Chocolate Wand at him. 

"Let's duel," Zayn says, waving it dramatically. But Harry grabs his friend's wrist, leans in, and bites off the end of the wand, causing Zayn to gasp and pull back. "That's cheating!" 

Harry shrugs, then he throws an arm around Zayn's shoulder, and leads him towards the levitating sherbet balls. "Bet you two Galleons Niall gets some Drooble's Gum, fills the common room with bubbles, and gets in trouble." 

"Bet you three Galleons you get at least twenty points deducted from your House." 

"That's a bit much. Ten at the most." 

Zayn opens his mouth, ready to quip back, but he suddenly stops, and stares across the room. Harry follows his friend's gaze, then his eyebrows draw together when he spots long blonde hair framing a face with porcelain skin. His stomach starts to feel a little nauseous, and he has the urge to pull Zayn out of the shop, but instead, he stays put. 

Perrie Edwards is a third year Hufflepuff, and Zayn's favorite pastime is to stare at her. Harry wants to say that he doesn't see the appeal, but the most unfortunate thing, is that he does. And he also wants to say that he can understand the jealousy bubbling in his gut, but that's a mystery to him. He thinks that perhaps, it's because he doesn't want to lose Zayn, as they had been best friends ever since they opened those Chocolate Frogs on the Hogwarts Express. 

"Oh, god," comes Louis' voice from behind, and he's also staring at the group of Hufflepuffs, his eyes wide. "There he is." 

"Who?" Niall asks while arranging the Drooble's Best Blowing Gum in his basket. 

Louis huffs in frustration, "You bloody know full well who." 

And they all did, because ever since Louis laid eyes on him during their first year, it was all he could talk about. David Payne had been a Beater on the Chudley Cannons, and is a celebrity in the Wizarding World, his face gracing the front of many magazines, which Louis would collect. And now his son, Liam Payne, walked the halls of Hogwarts. 

"You could, you know, talk to him," Harry says, but Louis gives him a look of disbelief. 

" _Talk_ to him?" Louis replies, as if the idea was the most ridiculous thing. "You're absolutely mad, I'm not going to talk to him. Ha. _Talk_ to him." 

Harry and Zayn look at each other, roll their eyes in unison, and go back to their shopping. They fill their baskets with various chocolates, Liquorice Wands, Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans, and Pumpkin Pasties. Zayn loves Sugar Quills, so Harry stocks up on them too just in case the other boy ever runs out. When they finish, they leave the shop, and decide to head up to the Shrieking Shack. 

The Shrieking Shack was supposedly haunted. The locals say that the wails and cries that used to echo from the Shack have stopped years ago, but even then, no one dares to get close. 

The four boys stare at the run down building from afar, goosebumps erupting on their skin, their minds wandering, and thinking of the absolute worst things that might have happened in there. 

"Dare one of you to go in there," Louis says quietly, glancing at the other three. 

"You're stark raving mad," Zayn mumbles back, and he moves a little bit to hide behind Harry. "You go in there, Lou, if you're so brave." 

"I'd rather be a coward in one piece, than courageous in many pieces," Louis replies. "And why don't you ask the Gryffindors? What about you lot, huh?" He turns to Harry and Niall. " _'Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart.'_ By the way Horan is nearly pissing himself, I'd say that description isn't one hundred percent accurate." 

Niall jabs Louis' side with his elbow, and Louis just laughs. 

"What have we here?" a voice says behind them. The four whirl around to see a group of Slytherins with Avery Rookwood at the forefront, sneering at them. "Let's see, we've got the Mudblood," he looks at Zayn, "The obnoxious Gryffindor prats," he says to Harry and Niall, then he turns to Louis last, narrowing his eyes. "And the traitor." 

"Good morning, Rookwood, so pleasant of you to crawl out of the depths of Hell to join us," Louis says in a sweet tone, causing the other three to laugh. 

Rookwood glares, and reaches into his robe to pull out his wand, and Louis doesn't hesitate in stepping forward in front of his friends, arms outstretched, shielding them. 

"I'd think twice about taking that wand out," Louis says in a low, threatening voice. "I think you're well aware who my family is, hm? You know, the ones who own half the Wizarding world, and are richer than God? I'd hate to think about what would happen to the poor fool who was stupid enough to hurt me. Could you imagine it, Rookwood? Could you imagine what would happen to that fool and his family?" 

A fleeting expression of fear crosses over Rookwood's face, and he slowly takes his hand out of his robes, lowering it to his side. He grits his teeth, backs off, then turns to walk back to High Street, his group of minions following close behind. 

When they disappear back into the woods, Louis turns to his friends, and shakes his head. "You're all quite pathetic, honestly. What would you do without me?" And then he lets out a loud squeal when the three boys tackle him into the snow, and laugh. 

\- - - 

**Fourth Year.**

"When any type of chaos occurs at this school, how is it that I always find you four, without fail, at the center of it?" Minerva McGonagall sits behind her desk, peering at Louis, Niall, Harry, and Zayn over her glasses. 

There had been a mysterious case of Self-Propelling Custard Pies hurling themselves directly at Avery Rookwood and his mates, quickly followed by Weather in a Bottle, creating a rain cloud right over where they were standing. 

"Well, Headmistress," Louis says. "Perhaps it's just a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Accidentally, of course." 

"Mr. Tomlinson," McGonagall folds her hands on her desk, and leans forward. "Somehow, I doubt that." 

"Yes, but..." Louis continues. "Keep in mind how considerate these mysterious pranksters were. After Rookwood and company were drenched in custard pie, they were so nicely washed off by that rain water. I say whoever these troublemakers were, they were quite, oh I don't know, nice." 

"Again, Mr. Tomlinson," McGonagall replies. "Somehow... I doubt that as well." 

\- - - 

"This is rubbish," Louis mumbles as he polishes the candelabra, which is just one of the many (perhaps one of hundreds, or maybe thousands) in the castle. It's a long and tedious job, which is why it serves as the perfect detention. 

"Worth it, if you ask me," Niall says while he tries and wipes off a smudge on some silver. 

Harry snorts, and starts cleaning his third candelabra. "If I'm ever feeling down, all I've got to do is recall Rookwood's face." 

"The custard in his hair did suit him well," Zayn adds, and they all laugh. 

It's not difficult work, polishing off each individual candelabra, but it's painfully boring, especially for these four who aren't exactly known for their patience. And they live up to their reputation since just fifteen minutes into their punishment, they're already sneaking away. 

At the end of last year, during one of their detention sessions involving polishing silver and candelabras, Zayn and Harry had discovered a secret passage hidden in the room, near the corner, underneath a large portrait. They had dubbed it the "detention escape route." 

The four of them are rushing through the escape route, Louis leading the pack, and Harry taking up the rear. Zayn is directly in front of him, and to be difficult, Harry pokes at his bum every few seconds. 

"Stop!" Zayn laughs, and stops abruptly, causing Harry to crash into him, and fall over, so he grabs on to Zayn, forcing him down as well. They're collapsed on the floor, in a laughing heap, trying to get back on their feet again. 

"Oi!" Louis scolds them. "Stop flirting, you two, we're trying to make an escape. This is serious business!" 

Zayn eventually pulls Harry up, and they continue making their way to freedom. Perhaps the four of them will sneak off to Hogsmeade to replenish their candy stash at Honeydukes. The exit is just ahead, and they shuffle quickly through the narrow space, but just as Louis pushes up through the loose floorboard, the last person he expects to see is waiting there, staring down at him. 

"Going somewhere, boys?" asks Headmistress McGonagall. 

\- - - 

They're back in the large room, polishing the candelabras, and the escape route is now sealed off, which puts Louis in a very sour mood. Harry, on the other hand, doesn't seem to mind. He's sitting next to Zayn, their arms occasionally grazing against each other's, and they trade quick glances, and smile. 

Sometimes, detention isn't so bad. 

\- - - 

**Fifth Year.**

Today is the Quidditch match between Slytherin and Hufflepuff, and everyone is looking forward to it because Hufflepuff's team is smart, calculating, and unrelenting on the field. And this could be because their team captain and Keeper is none other than Liam Payne. Just like his father, he's intelligent, and spontaneous, and ever since he became Hufflepuff's captain, they'd been racking up wins with very few losses. 

Harry is sitting with Niall on his left side, and Zayn on his right, and they're cheering on Louis who is a Chaser on Slytherin's team. Louis is a brilliant player, albeit a bit showy, but it's who he is, and everyone expects something new every time. But his friends know that he does it in an attempt to get Liam's attention. 

After five years of being at Hogwarts together, Louis has yet to start a conversation with him. But right now, he's facing Liam at the goalpost, and he perfectly executes a Dionysus Dive by standing on his broomstick, and punching the Quaffle past Liam, scoring a goal for Slytherin. The Slytherin section erupts in cheers, and Louis zooms past them, holding out his hand for high fives. 

Zayn snorts, and he shakes his head, "He's so gone for Liam." 

"You just notice that now?" Harry laughs as he watches Louis toss Liam a smug smile, which was the boy's own way of flirting. "It's painful, really." But as he says that, he can feel a dull ache in his chest because he isn't sure who he's talking about. Louis or himself. Truth is, he understands the feeling of having a hopeless crush, and he thinks he probably has it worse than Louis, since the object of his affection is sitting right next to him. 

"We ought to just lock them up in a room together," Zayn suggests. "With alcohol." 

Harry giggles at the thought. "It's not a bad idea." 

Despite Louis' best efforts, the Snitch had been captured by the Hufflepuff Seeker, and the game was over with the win going to Hufflepuff. Which isn't that much of a surprise. Louis is a little downtrodden, but at the same time, he's staring longingly at Liam who is surrounded by his cheering teammates. 

"Alright," Niall heaves a sigh and stands up. "Let's go comfort our little Quidditch star." 

As they make their way out of the Quidditch pitch, Louis is already there with his broom slung over his shoulder, a little sweaty and dirty, and a faint pout tugging on his lips. 

"We got massacred," he says pathetically, and he hangs his head while the boys surround him in a group huddle. 

"You were brilliant, Lou," Harry says. 

"Yeah," Zayn adds. "Liam was in absolute awe of you, wasn't he, lads?" 

Niall nods in agreement, "Couldn't take his eyes off you, mate." 

This seems to soothe Louis, so he pulls back from the huddle, and sniffs. "Off to the Great Hall, then. I need pumpkin juice for my nerves." 

Harry and Zayn linger back a little while Niall and Louis hurry ahead. It's a bit nerve-wracking on Harry's part because he's not quite sure when this crush started, exactly. It was one of those things that crept up on him, and hit him so hard one day during their fourth year, he couldn't face Zayn for an entire week. 

"Imagine if you'd tried out for Quidditch," Zayn says, smirking a little. 

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were making fun of me," Harry nudges Zayn's side, then he hooks his arm around the boy's neck, trying to tug him down. 

Zayn squirms out of Harry's grip, then he moves behind him, and jumps on his back. "Onward!" 

Had it been anyone else, Harry would shake them off, but it was Zayn, and any excuse to touch him, he'd take it. Harry carried him back towards the castle, and didn't put him down until they reached the entrance of the Great Hall. Niall and Louis were already seated at the end of one of the long tables by the time Harry and Zayn got there, so they went to join, taking their seats across from them. 

Louis is still a bit down, and he sips at the pumpkin juice in between sighs while Niall rubs his back. Harry is about to say something, but a hush falls over the table when, of all people, Liam Payne approaches their group. 

"Hey," Liam says, smiling at Louis. "You were, um, really great today. Almost wish you'd have been a Hufflepuff so I could recruit you." 

Louis doesn't say anything. His mouth is open, and he's staring at Liam, so Harry kicks him under the table. That jolts him out of his trance, and he replies quickly, "O-Oh, well, that's unfortunate, I guess, but at least you've got some proper competition, yeah?" 

Liam laughs, and he nods, "Yeah, it seems like I do." His laughter trails off, and he falls silent, just looking at Louis, and Louis is back in his trance, gazing up at Liam fondly. Liam lingers at the table for a moment, glances at each of the boys, then he awkwardly steps back. "Well, I... um, suppose I'll see you around? Louis?" 

At the sound of his name, Louis seems to melt, "Yeah, Liam, see you around." When Liam had left the Great Hall, and was out of earshot, Louis let out a loud groan. "Phwoar, did you see how fit he is? He is beyond the valley of fit! I'm going to marry him, and I'm going to have his children, I'm going to be Mr. Louis Payne." 

"Skipping some steps there, Lou," Zayn says with a laugh. 

"Oh please, mate," Louis scoffs. "While he was standing there and falling in love with me, I was already scheming." 

"And what type of scheme did you come up with?" Harry asks. 

"Well, since you asked, dear Harold," Louis grins. "We're going to throw a party." 

\- - - 

Harry is lugging a large carton full of beer through the narrow passageway, and he groans and stops for a moment. 

"I have no idea how Louis talks us into these things," he says, and looks over his shoulder at Zayn. 

Zayn chuckles, "He's got a gift for it. He's a Slytherin." 

"True," Harry sighs, then he picks up the carton, and continues on until they reach a hidden entrance by the Potions classroom. The four of them had discovered this secret passage in their third year, stumbling across it purely by luck. There was a door behind one of the large portraits revealing a passageway that lead right to Hogsmeade's High Street. Louis had made a deal with someone at the Hog's Head, and though Harry didn't know the details (and didn't care to know, really), he knew that it ended with them getting cartons of beer despite being only fifteen years old. 

They make their way towards a small nook under the stairs, and push aside a curtain to reveal a hidden door. 

" _Ianua patet_ ," Harry says, and the door unlocks. 

The party is in full swing, and they place the beer next to the other empty cartons. A group of Gryffindors and Ravenclaws are playing a Muggle drinking game in the center of the room, and there's a spot off to the side being used as a designated dance floor. Niall's right in the middle of it surrounded by girls, and when he spots Harry and Zayn, he gives them a thumbs up. But perhaps the most interesting sight is Louis and Liam, backed up in a dark corner, Louis' fingers through Liam's hair, looking like he's about to devour him whole. 

"Bloody hell," Harry mumbles. 

"Right there with you, mate," Zayn says, handing Harry a drink. "Cheers." 

This party was all for Louis, and his elaborate plan to trap Liam, which surprisingly happened quite well. And since the result had been a success, Harry and Zayn retreat to a small couch off to the side where they can watch the shenanigans in peace. House pride easily melts away once alcohol is involved, and Harry can't count how many Gryffindor/Slytherin couples had paired up throughout the course of the night. 

"Hey, so like..." Harry takes a gulp of his third beer, and he turns his whole body to face Zayn. "You've never had a, you know... girlfriend?" 

Zayn, who is on his third beer as well, since doesn't like to fall behind, squinted at Harry. "You've been with me every day for five years, Styles, you know full well I never had a girlfriend." 

"Yeah, but... like... why?" 

"Dunno." 

"But you're so..." Harry leans in close, his face inches from Zayn's. "Cute." 

Zayn breaks out into laughter, and almost falls over, but Harry grabs his arm, pulling him back. 

"Why's that funny? It's the tr--" but Harry is interrupted by Niall who drops a bottle on his lap, half full of clear liquid. 

"It's vodka. Dolohov brought it for the party," Niall's cheeks are red, and he's beaming. "Might've been a tad thirsty, downed a tiny bit, saved the rest for you two. Would've offered some to Louis, but his mouth is occupied." He grinned widely, then waved when a Slytherin girl dragged him away. 

Harry picked up the bottle, and waved it in Zayn's face, "Come on, Zaynie." 

"Oh no," Zayn holds up his hands. "No, you are not pressuring me, Styles." 

"Just a bit off the top, Malik," Harry tilts his head back, takes a gulp, which proves to be too much, and his face scrunches up at the taste. "Fuck," he hisses. "That's bound to put some hair on your chest. Alright, your turn." 

"No." 

"All for one, and one for all!" 

Zayn groans, and he grabs the bottle from Harry, taking a generous swig from it, then he gags, quickly chasing the harsh liquor with beer. Harry laughs, and takes the vodka back from Zayn. His neck feels warm. In fact, his entire face feels hot, his head is swimming, and he's incredibly giggly. 

"Have you ever..." Harry says. "Kissed anyone before?" 

"Harry, if I did, you'd know." 

"How would I know?" 

Zayn heaves a sigh. "Because you've pretty much glued yourself to my side. Sometimes I think if we were in the same House, you'd end up sleeping in bed with me." 

Due to being drunk, Harry doesn't have a proper reply to that, so he just giggles. 

"Yeah, see? I'm right," Zayn smiles a little, then he finishes off his beer, and sets the empty bottle down. "I'm right, and I'm proper pissed. What the fuck kind of vodka was that?" 

"The alcoholic kind," Harry replies, then he laughs because he thinks it's the funniest retort, and he thinks perhaps thinks could get funnier if he were to drink more, so that's just what he does. 

They consume a substantial amount between the both of them, and when it's Harry's turn to sip from the bottle, there's nothing left, and Zayn bursts into peals of laughter as Harry tries to stick his tongue inside for the few droplets. 

"Have you?" Zayn asks, a slur in his speech. 

"Have I what?" 

"Kissed anyone." 

Harry sighs, and slumps over, trying to refocus his vision. "You can't just... pick up a conversation from like, an hour ago." 

"Yeah, I can," Zayn says. "I just did." 

Truth is, Harry had kissed one girl in his fourth year, Fiona Johnson, behind a stack of books in the library. It wasn't what he expected. There had been no passion or fireworks, no heart racing adrenaline. It was quite a let down, and he never tried it again. But he wanted to. 

"I bet I'm pretty good," Harry says, looking quite smug with himself. "Bet I'm the best kisser here" 

Zayn snorts, "Prove it." 

That is an opening if Harry ever saw one. He stares at Zayn, and he thinks he might be seeing double at times, but when he blinks, there's just one Zayn sitting there instead of two. "I'm gonna prove it," he mumbles, moving in, and clutching at the front of Zayn's shirt. 

When the distance finally closes between them, and their lips touch, it's electric. At least on Harry's part. Despite his foggy mind, and the alcohol quickly coursing through him, he knows that this is how a kiss is supposed to feel. Zayn's lips are warm, and a little chapped, and he doesn't kiss back at first, but he eventually tilts his head, pushes a bit closer, and deepens the kiss. It's a reaction Harry doesn't expect, and it pleases him so much, he actually whimpers against the boy's lips. 

Something bubbles inside him. Happiness? Love? The bubbling rises to his throat, and Harry realizes it's neither of the two. He quickly pulls back, pushes up on his knees, turns around, and vomits behind the couch. 

\- - - 

When Harry wakes up in the boys' dormitory the next day, panic shoots through his body because he's unsure if he's slept through his morning classes. But he realizes it's Saturday, so he relaxes a little. Though his relaxation is short-lived when a massive headache starts pounding at his temples, and his stomach feels queasy. 

Niall groans on the bed next to him, and Harry knows his friend is probably in pain as well, which they deserved, carrying on like that last night. He slides out of bed, and trudges towards the toilets, trying to make himself as presentable as he possibly can, then he walks back to the mattress, clutching his head. 

"Niall," he mumbles, and Niall replies with a grunt. "C'mon, we need food." 

It's a great challenge, getting Niall out of bed, and into new clothes, but Harry manages to do so, and they make their way out into the empty common room. Mostly everyone sleeps in on Saturdays, but if Harry doesn't get food and water into his system now, it will be disastrous. 

The amount of students sitting in the Great Hall are scarce, but Louis and Zayn are among the few of them. Louis is happily munching on some toast, while Zayn has his head in his arms, unmoving. 

"How the hell are you so chipper this morning?" Niall grumbles, grabbing a piece of toast from Louis plate. 

"Because I didn't gorge myself on alcohol like you insane lot," Louis grinned. "I gorged myself on Liam." 

Niall cringes, and pushes Louis' arm. 

Harry ignores the other two, and his eyes focus on Zayn, who still hasn't budged from his spot. And if he hadn't moaned, Harry would've thought him to be passed out. Or dead. Either one would suffice after last night. But he almost wishes for Zayn not to sit up, and see him, only because he's dreading the boy's reaction, and he doesn't want to go through the painful rejection. 

Zayn slowly pushes himself up, and he rubs his forehead with his fingertips. "Oh my god," he groans, then he turns to look at Harry. "Hey." 

"Hey..." Harry replies tentatively. "How're you feeling?" 

"Like I went a few rounds with the Whomping Willow." 

"So, um... about last night--" 

"I think I blacked out," Zayn interrupts, dropping his hands from his face. He shakes his head and sighs, "I don't remember a damn thing after we started drinking from that bottle. I swear, I'm never touching alcohol again." 

Harry doesn't say anything for a moment. He's unsure if he's relieved or disappointed, so he just offers a small smile, and lightly pats Zayn on the shoulder. "I'm right there with you, Malik." 

And he pretends he doesn't see Louis' knowing smile. 

\- - - 

**Sixth Year.**

The stress of schoolwork and exams starts to take a toll around their sixth year, and Harry finds himself constantly holed up in the library with Zayn, since Louis and Niall aren't exactly the best study buddies. 

He's studying Golpalott's Third Law, and it's making his head hurt, so he pushes his text book aside, and groans. 

Zayn glances at the chapter Harry is on, then he scoots closer to him. "Alright, don't worry, this isn't so difficult. It's just the idea that a whole product is greater than the sum of its parts. So when you make an antidote to a blended poison, you've got to find a particular ingredient that when added to a blended antidote--" 

Harry holds up a hand, silencing him, "Zayn, I'm never going to remember that. So I'll just add that on to the list of questions I'll most definitely fail." 

"You say that all the time," Zayn says. "And you end up passing all the time. I'm not exactly worried for you." He then nudges Harry's leg with his foot, giving him a small smile. They do this often, exchange these little flirtations like it's nothing, and it thrills Harry but confuses him at the same time. Sometimes he thinks he sees a twinkle in Zayn's eye when they interact like that, but it could just be a figment of his imagination. 

"Just be my study buddy," Harry nudges Zayn back under the table. "You're a good influence. You encourage me to be a better student." 

Zayn chuckles quietly, and leans in, pressing his arm to Harry's. "Such flattery. But I'll take it." He lightly brushes his nose against Harry's shoulder, then he goes back to his studying. Meanwhile, Harry finds it impossible to study, and ends up reading the same sentence over and over. 

\- - - 

"I find this whole thing to be ridiculous," Louis says as he and Harry make their way to Divination. "And I find _you_ to be the most ridiculous of all." 

Harry hoists his book bag further up his shoulder, and grumbles. "I am not ridiculous." 

"Yes, you are. You just stare after Zayn like some pathetic puppy dog, and you don't do a damn thing about it. With Liam, I took initiative." 

"Yeah, after five years." 

Louis smacks Harry on the arm with a book, "The point is, I acted on my feelings, and look where I am now. We shag every chance we get, he can't keep his hands off me, and best of all, he goes easy on me during Quidditch matches." 

"Don't tell me you're dating him to get ahead in Quidditch." 

"No, I'm dating him because of his big co--" 

"I'm gonna have to stop you right there." 

After scaling the stairs up to the tower, they walk into the Divination classroom, and take their seats. Louis looks into the crystal ball in the middle of their table, then he places his hands over it, and shuts his eyes. 

"The spirits from beyond are telling me..." he says in a hushed voice. "... that Harry Styles is a little shit." And he laughs as he dodges a pencil Harry throws at his head. 

\- - - 

Harry's calm night of studying with Zayn is interrupted by Louis and Niall, who insist on sneaking out through one of their many secret passages into Hogsmeade. "It's Friday," they insist, and Harry is reluctant because he looks forward to these study sessions. Not for the academic benefit, but for the brief flirtations he exchanges with Zayn, and he wants to see if he can take it to another level. 

But instead, here they are, crawling out of some loose floorboards leading into High Street, and they brush themselves off, and walk to the Three Broomsticks. Harry doesn't find it necessary to travel here in secret, as they could probably just walk off school grounds, but it is much quicker, and he does appreciate the excitement of it all. 

The Three Broomsticks is a little crowded, and Liam is there with a few other Hufflepuffs, so Louis makes a beeline to him, and plops himself down on his lap. Zayn and Harry exchange looks, and they shake their heads. 

"Alright," Zayn says. "I'll buy you two--" but Niall has run off with a Gryffindor girl. "Nevermind. Just us then, Harry?" 

"Just us then," Harry agrees, then he grabs on to Zayn's arm, pulling him away from the crowd. "But not here. I'm not in the mood for a drink." He leads Zayn out of the Three Broomsticks, since Louis and Niall look quite comfortable with their current company, so he really doesn't feel bad leaving them. 

They walk down High Street, past all the buildings, and towards the isolated edge of the village where there wasn't a soul in sight. It's a little chilly, but it's easy to ignore, especially because of the heat rising up Harry's neck, spreading to his cheeks. 

"Too bad our study session was so rudely interrupted by those menaces," Zayn tightens his coat around his body, and kicks at the ground. 

"Yeah," Harry replies. "Absolutely awful. My academic life will now take a nosedive." 

Zayn laughs, and takes a step closer to nudge Harry's arm. "Not really what I meant." 

Harry is quiet for a moment, and he tilts his head, looking at Zayn curiously. "Then what did you mean?" 

Perhaps this is it, Harry thinks. Maybe Zayn has come to the realization that he has feelings, and Harry can finally stop dying a little every single time they come into contact every day. Maybe they can finally try and give it a real shot, and Harry doesn't have to resort to replaying the kiss they had during their fifth year. So he waits for Zayn's answer, trying to ignore the deafening silence between them. 

"Dunno." 

Harry stares at Zayn blankly. ' _Dunno._ ' Not quite the declaration of love he expects, but then again, he can't say that he is surprised. Zayn can't feel that way for Harry. They are best friends, and they grew up together. Maybe it would be a bad idea, after all, and maybe it was about time that Harry snapped out of his stupid fantasy. 

"I guess..." Zayn continues. "I liked it when it was just the two of us. I dunno. I've sort of felt that when it's just us in the library, studying, or whatever it is we do, it's..." He sighs, and rubs his eyes with his fingertips. "It's just something I've grown to like. 

Harry widens his eyes a little. "Zayn--" 

"I remember it, you know," Zayn interrupts him, and looks up. "The party in our fifth year. You kissed me." 

The sudden revelation feels like a smack in the face, and Harry's cheeks instantly redden, and his stomach tightens. "Oh, fuck," he mumbles, then he slowly lifts a hand to cover his face. Harry had gone through an entire year thinking Zayn had no recollection of that night, but the entire time, he had known everything, and hadn't said a single word. Harry almost felt angry, but he was too shocked to properly show it. 

Before Harry can respond, Zayn continues. "And I kissed you back." 

And that makes all the difference. 

Harry inhales sharply, then he takes a hesitant step forward, and he summons all the courage that he has so he can ask, "So what would happen if I kissed you now?" 

A faint smile tugs on Zayn's lips, and he glances down, shrugging lightly. "I'd kiss you back. Again." 

And that's all Harry needs to hear before he practically lunges forward, takes Zayn's face in between his hands, then leans in to kiss him. He doesn't gaze romantically into his eyes first, he doesn't linger in that pre-kiss stage where they let the excitement build between them. No, the excitement has been building for six fucking years, and Harry is done waiting. 

Without the drunken haze of their first time, Harry is able to fully appreciate this experience, and it feels new. The kiss tastes like sugar and smoke, like he'd been sucking on a Sugar Quill earlier, then snuck off beyond the courtyard to have a cigarette. And the interesting thing is that Harry has grown up surrounded by magic, knowing it all his life, but in this very moment, he realizes that he's found real magic in Zayn's kiss, and this goes beyond any spell, and any potion. 

\- - - 

The transition is quite effortless, but they try to hide it from the other boys at first. That is, until Louis calls them out on it while they're messing around on the Quidditch pitch. 

"Are you two fucking?" 

Harry nearly trips over himself, tugging on Zayn to keep him steady, Niall nearly chokes on the bottled water he's drinking, and Liam gently nudges Louis to quiet him. But Louis can't be quieted, so he asks again, slower and louder this time. 

"Are. You. Two. Fucking?" 

"What the hell, Louis, no," Harry's brows draw together, and he turns bright red. Zayn on the other hand looks calm and unaffected, so Harry looks to him for more answers. 

"Just kissing," Zayn replies casually with a shrug, like he's just commenting on the weather. 

Louis hooks his legs on his broomstick, and hangs upside down, peering at the both of them. "Hm. Okay. I believe you." 

Niall's eyes are widening, and he turns to Harry and Zayn, looking hurt since he wasn't informed of this new change. "Why didn't you tell us? Was it supposed to be a secret?" 

"That's not it, Ni," Harry replies, sighing a little. "I just didn't know how to go about telling everyone yet. Damn it, Louis--" He reaches up, grabs the end of Louis' broomstick, and sharply tugs it down, but Louis is quick, so he backs up, then zooms away, laughing. 

"Honestly," Liam says with a chuckle, and a shake of his head. "I don't know how I deal with him." Then he flies around the pitch, catching up with his boyfriend. 

Niall lets out a sigh, then turns back to Harry and Zayn, "I'm not mad," he pats them both on their shoulders. "We're all best friends. But that's not really something you should feel like you need to hide. It's kinda nice, you know?" 

It's much easier, with the blessing of their friends, not that they needed it. But Niall is right, it really is a nice thing, so there is no reason to hide. From then on, Harry doesn't bother with hesitation. If he wants to hold Zayn's hand, he'll do it. If he wants to kiss him, he will. And Zayn happily accepts the affection, and initiates plenty in return. They lace fingers underneath the table during class, and before they're off to their dormitories, they'll kiss heavily in dark corners where they won't be found. Everything is happening so quickly, as if they are making up for lost time, and Harry doesn't mind that at all. 

It's a Thursday night, and Harry and Zayn are in the library, but as usual, Harry can't concentrate, and he's reading the same sentence over and over. 

"Don't you ever want to try anything more?" Harry slams his book shut, and sets it aside. 

"More...?" Zayn looks up from his homework, and perks an eyebrow. "More what?" 

"You know," Harry says, lowering his voice. "Just... _more_. More than kissing." 

Zayn clears his throat, like something is lodged in there, then he pushes his notes away, and he stares at Harry. "Like?" 

Instead of wasting precious time, Harry would rather show Zayn. He's eager but inexperienced, and seen how it's done on his laptop when he's back home during breaks. It's nothing he's ever tried before, and he doesn't even think he'll be any good at it, but he is so gone for Zayn, that whenever he thinks about it, he has no one else in mind. 

Harry grabs Zayn's hand, and he pulls him up the winding staircase, leading to the top floor of the library where no one really cares to visit. The books are old, with dust settling over them, and no one's been up here in ages judging by how much has collected on the shelves. The dust tickles Harry's nose, and he sneezes, and Zayn smiles as he presses a kiss to his cheek. 

"You sure you wanna be up here?" Zayn asks as he playfully tweaks Harry's nose, then presses a kiss to the tip of it. 

"Yes, shh, don't ruin it. I'm trying to be romantic," Harry slides his arms around Zayn's neck, and presses their lips together, kissing him slowly and deeply. He presses Zayn back against a wall, and breaks the kiss for a moment while he lowers one hand, moving it down Zayn's chest, then his stomach, and finally, just below the waistband of his trousers. 

"Wait," Zayn grabs Harry's wrist to stop him. "You don't have to do that." 

Harry blinks, and the blush on his cheeks deepen in embarrassment. "Oh... I'm sorry, you don't want me to?" 

"No, that's not it!" Zayn says quickly, as he pecks Harry's lips to soothe him. "Of course I want it. I want it very badly. I just don't want you to feel like you have to do something. I don't want you to feel obligated." 

"But... I don't feel obligated. I want to try." 

After a moment, Zayn slowly loosens his grip on Harry's wrist, allowing him to go further. Once he gets consent, Harry quickly unbuttons and unzips the front of Zayn's trousers, delving his hand inside, past his boxers, feeling embarrassed at how quick and eager he is. But his embarrassment melts away when he feels Zayn's growing hardness against the palm of his hand. Harry pushes his hand against it and elicits a low moan from Zayn. 

Harry has never felt another cock besides his own, and Zayn's is warm, smooth, and pulsating in his hand. He slowly sinks down to his knees, tugs Zayn's boxers down past his hips, and he leans back in surprise when the boy's cock springs out, hitting his chin. Harry laughs nervously, and he turns bright red again, but he's determined to do this. He recalls every single video he's seen, and he wants to recreate them, but Harry is far from porn star material, so rather than try to copy, he takes a deep breath and empties his mind, allowing his body to move naturally. 

Zayn is bigger than Harry expected, but he happily accepts this challenge, and tentatively wraps his lips around the tip, digging his tongue into the slit, eagerly lapping at it while drawing more muffled groans from Zayn. Harry takes this as encouragement, but he overreaches a little when he moves forward, trying to take in as much as he can, but once the tip of Zayn's cock hits the back of his throat, Harry gags, and immediately pulls back. He's hungry and eager, so he bounces back from it, and wraps his fingers around the base of Zayn's length, sucking only half of it into his mouth. He feels fingers through his hair, grabbing a handful, tugging on it sharply. Harry smirks a little around Zayn's cock, feeling smug that this is only his first time, and Zayn's begging for more already. 

"C'mon," Zayn says in a hoarse voice, gently thrusting forward into Harry's mouth causing him to gag again. 

Harry pulls back, and glares up at him. "Do that again, and I'll bite it off." And Zayn responds to this threat by gently tapping him on the nose. 

They fall back into it, and Harry tightens his grip on the base of Zayn's length, while he hungrily bobs his head back and forth, his mouth and fist working in unison, meeting half way. His movement is enthusiastic but steady, noisily slurping along Zayn's cock as if he were a hungry man, starved for weeks. Harry can taste bitter liquid seeping out of the tip, pooling in the center of his tongue, but he's unable to swallow back in time, so it messily drips down his chin. 

"Fuck, don't stop," Zayn hisses, and his legs are trembling as he tries to keep his hips as still as possible, pressing his rear back against the wall. 

Harry isn't prepared for the sudden rush of warm liquid that suddenly shoots down his throat, but he holds back his coughs until he's red in the face. He tightens his lips around Zayn's cock, sucking eagerly until he's sure the boy is completely spent, then he quickly pulls back and erupts in a coughing fit. He's burning with embarrassment at his complete lack of finesse, but it's what he gets for being too voracious, and overestimating his skills for someone who has never done this before. 

"Oh my god," Harry says in between coughs, and he sits back, with his hands over his face. "God, I'm so sorry." He feels Zayn's arms wrap around him, and he's laughing, which causes more embarrassment, so he tries to squirm out of the boy's grip, but he's unrelenting. 

"Harry," Zayn tightens his arms around him, and kisses the side of his head. "Stop it, you're perfect." 

Harry buries his face in Zayn's neck, and he can hear the boy's heavy breathing, and feel his rapid heartbeat. Maybe Harry didn't do too bad of a job, after all. He pulls back, locks eyes with Zayn, and they both laugh. 

\- - - 

In the weeks following their tryst in the library, Harry has been on cloud nine. He and Zayn meet every day on the top floor, abandoning their studies to be with each other among dusty books. Pleasing Zayn is Harry's favorite thing to do, but receiving it as well is right up there (and Harry thinks Zayn looks awfully nice on his knees). 

They go to the Great Hall for breakfast before their classes, and Zayn squeezes Harry's hand before he joins the other sixth year Ravenclaws at their table. Harry makes his way to the Gryffindor table, and he sits down next to Niall, then he bites into a piece of toast just as the post arrives. The owls swoop into the Great Hall, dropping parcels and envelopes, and Harry is lucky to get a letter from his mother. He glances over at Zayn, and waves the letter in his hand, and Zayn responds with a smile, lifting up an envelope of his own. And he mouths the words " _from mum_." 

Harry reads his letter, and his mother tells him about how her garden is coming along nicely, and how much the cats miss him. He thinks fondly of home, and how excited he is for the summer. Perhaps Zayn can visit Harry's seaside cottage. 

He glances over at Zayn, and he frowns a little when he sees the boy's face scrunch up, then the color drains from it. Harry is about to go to him, but Zayn suddenly stands, and rushes out of the Great Hall while crumpling the letter in his hands. 

"Ni, did you see that?" Harry says as he slides out of his seat. 

"See what?" Niall asks, looking up from his plate of scrambled eggs. 

"Zayn just walked out, and-- nevermind, I'll catch up with you later." Harry quickly makes his way out the large doors, leading out into the hallway, but when he steps outside, Zayn is nowhere in sight. He starts to panic a little, but he forces to calm himself down since he's bound to speak to Zayn during one of their classes, or their breaks. And he'll definitely see him tonight at the library. 

Throughout the day, Harry is getting more and more frustrated because he's still not getting any answers. He doesn't get to speak to Zayn during their classes, and if he doesn't know any better, he would think he was being avoided. But Zayn, in typical Ravenclaw fashion, doesn't do much talking during classes to begin with, so maybe Harry is just being paranoid. But he doesn't even see him when they're on breaks, and neither do Louis or Niall. He tells them what he saw during breakfast, and they become worried as well, but no one can get a hold of him to ask. 

Dinner time rolls along, and there's still no sign of Zayn, so Harry walks up to the Ravenclaw table to ask where he is. A sixth year girl, Amelie Clearwater, says that Zayn is studying in the Ravenclaw common room, and Harry tells her to please tell Zayn to meet him in the library later. When she agrees to do so, he gives her a small smile, then walks back to the Gryffindor table. He doesn't have much of an appetite, so he just sits there, letting the dread in his stomach grow, and spread to the rest of his body. 

\- - - 

Zayn never came to the library. Harry waited there for three hours until he gave up and just went back to the Gryffindor common room. And today, Harry would confront him, because if he wasn't sure before, he definitely is sure now, and he knows for a fact that Zayn is avoiding him for some unknown reason. 

It's Saturday, and there are no classes, so Harry spends his morning right in front of the Ravenclaw common room, making sure there was absolutely no way to miss Zayn that day. He stands there, greeting every Ravenclaw that walks in or out, and they stare at him curiously, but otherwise, they don't complain. Harry is there for about an hour, and he's willing to stay longer, but he doesn't have to since his patience pays off, and Zayn is now making his way out of the common room, and into the hall. 

"Oh, fuck," he says, clearly startled. "You gave me a scare." 

"You're avoiding me," Harry confronts him immediately. "And don't say you're not, because it's so obvious. You didn't meet me in the library last night." 

"I was busy studying." 

"That's what the bloody library is for!" 

Zayn sighs, then he leans in, responding in a low voice, "What we do isn't really considered studying." He pulls back, and starts to brush past Harry. "I have to go." 

But Harry is quick, and he grabs Zayn's arm, keeping him still. "I'm not letting you go until you tell me what I did." 

"You didn't do anything." 

"Bullshit. Tell me what I fucking did." 

Zayn swallows back, then he wrenches his arm away. A painful silence settles between them. A kind of silence that is never followed by good news, Harry is much too aware of it. 

"We have to stop what we're doing." 

And there it is. 

The color drains from Harry's face, and he stops breathing for a moment. "Why?" 

"Because... I just need to focus on class, Harry. I want to eventually be a Healer, and I need top marks. And... don't you want to be an Auror? It's our second to last year, and we need to really get our heads in--" 

"What did the letter say?" Harry interrupts him. 

"What..." Zayn blinks rapidly. "What letter?" 

"You know bloody well what letter. So what did it say? The one from your mum?" 

Zayn rubs his forehead, and looks down. "It was from my dad." 

Harry crosses his arms over his chest, and he takes a deep breath because it feels like the room is spinning, and he has to keep stable. "So what you're saying is... your family doesn't want you to be with me. Is that right? Okay, fine, but what about you? Don't you have a say in it?" 

"It's a bit more complicated than that, Harry." 

"How the hell is it complicated? We want to be together, so where's the complication in that?" 

Zayn keeps his eyes down, then he mumbles. "It was nothing serious. It was just a fling." 

That feels like a punch in the gut, and Harry actually recoils, and winces. "Oh..." his voice is trembling, and his eyes fill with tears. "Alright then. Cool. Sorted." And he quickly turns around, and rushes off before Zayn can see the tears run down his cheeks. 

\- - - 

**Seventh Year.**

Harry, Niall, and Liam are in the courtyard studying for their N.E.W.T.s, and Louis is snoozing away with his head on Liam's lap. It's been a hard year for them, especially for Harry, but after doing his best to recover over the summer, and diving right back into his classes in the autumn, he thinks he's doing alright. He's back on track with his studies, and he's been getting good enough marks that make him semi-confident that he'll be right where he wants to be after he graduates. 

Zayn walks by, hand-in-hand with Perrie Edwards. He had been chosen for Head Boy at the beginning of the year, and she was chosen for Head Girl. They are a perfect match, according to the student body, but Harry knows better, though he doesn't say a thing. He and Zayn don't speak, and it's more on Harry's part, since he makes it a point to ignore him whenever he is around. Zayn still speaks to the other boys, but they don't all hang out at the same time, out of respect. But the group dynamic is never the same, and it looms over them like a dark cloud. 

"Sometimes I mistake Perrie Edwards as one of our many resident ghosts," Louis says. He'd just woken up, and he watches Zayn and Perrie walk across the courtyard, and back into the castle. "Once, I walked right into her, thinking I'd go right through her. Imagine my surprise. Poor dear needs a bit of sun." 

Harry smiles at Louis' attempt to cheer him up, but it's a half-hearted one, and he just returns to focusing on his book. 

\- - - 

It's the early hours of the morning, and Harry has yet to go to sleep. He's in the library, finishing up the last bit of his homework, but his eyelids feel like they weigh a ton, and they're threatening to close. He rolls up the parchment, slides it in his book bag along with the rest of his text books, and he gets up, slowly making his way out of the library. As he drags his feet down the hall, he sees another figure in the darkness walking towards him, and as the figure steps into the light, all of Harry's exhaustion melts away when he sees that it's Zayn. 

"You're up really late," Zayn says quietly. "Or up early. I suppose it depends how you look at it." 

Harry hoists his bag further up his shoulder, looking at him blankly. "You gonna give me detention, Head Boy?" 

Zayn sighs, then he shakes his head, and looks down. He seems tired. There are dark circles under his eyes, and there's scruff along his chin making him look older. "Are you studying for your N.E.W.T.s?" 

"Yeah." 

"That's good," Zayn smiles a little, but they don't quite reach his eyes. "You'll do well. You still want to be an Auror?" 

"Yeah." 

Zayn nods, and he finds it hard to maintain a conversation when the interest is one sided, but he seems to be trying. "Are you heading back to the common room?" 

Harry lifts an eyebrow, "Uh. It's like 4 am. I don't think I'm going to get into any shenanigans at this time. So yeah, to the common room, I go." 

It's painfully awkward, but for Harry, it's more painful than it is awkward, and he just wants to hurry away, and hide underneath his blankets. It's awful because Zayn is still the most beautiful boy he's ever seen, and after all this time, he can still taste him on his tongue. 

"Harry," Zayn says, his tone pleading. "Please." 

"Please what?" Harry asks, as his cold facade melts away, and is replaced by something tired and defeated. "Please what, Zayn? I'm doing what you asked. What else do you want from me, because there's nothing else I can give." 

"I'm not asking you to give me anything. I just want--" 

"-- to be friends?" Harry finishes Zayn's sentence. "Is that what you want? You want me to forget that you used me to get off a few times, and just go right back to--" 

"I didn't use you!" Zayn raises his voice, and he takes a step forward. "I didn't fucking use you. I wanted you." 

Harry scoffs, and rolls his eyes. "Could've fooled me, with the way you just tossed me aside." 

"I didn't--" 

Harry holds up a hand, silencing him. "Don't. I'm tired, so please, just don't." 

When nothing else is said, and the quiet falls between them again, Harry brushes past Zayn, and doesn't look back. 

\- - - 

Harry throws himself back into his studies in an attempt to flush out all things Zayn. It's an impossible task, but he tries, and at times, he thinks he's succeeded, but once the silence settles in, his heart starts to hurt again. Zayn tries to talk to him sometimes, but Harry doesn't give in. He pretends he doesn't hear, or he tells him he's late to something, and rushes off. Harry thinks Zayn deserves it for betraying his trust, and stomping on what relationship they had, but when he sees Zayn's sad face and tired eyes, he almost feels bad. 

He goes out with a sweet seventh year Hufflepuff girl named Andrea Whitby, and she's as lovely as a girl can be. Harry knows she's had a crush on him for a while, so he doesn't think it would hurt to give it a shot. It's not exactly butterflies and fireworks, but it would serve as a decent distraction, and he fancies that with a little work, it could turn into something more. 

They go to Madam Pudifoot's for their first date, and Harry can't help but wrinkle his nose at the choice of decoration inside the tea shop. The pink lace and frills on the tables were overdone, and the pale pink cushions on the chairs looked uncomfortable. He eases himself through the cramped space, and sits down across from Andrea, then looks around at all the loved up couples, holding hands, and kissing. It is a sickening sight, and what's worse is that the thought of doing this with Andrea is unappealing, despite how cute she is. But maybe these were just nerves that he needs to power through. 

Harry feels like he's playing a role of someone else as he sits there, listening to Andrea talk about her friends, and her classes. And when she reaches out to take his hand, blush tinting her cheek, he can't help but feel like he is having an out of body experience, staring down at himself and this scene. He continues to feel like this until the end of the date when he pays for their coffee, and leaves. 

Going back to the castle, and walking down the hallway by himself feels good and free, and he swears he never wants to go back to that frilly, pink, cramped up space. The bad part is that it also feels good being away from Andrea. Harry isn't sure if it's just because he's not ready for a relationship, or if it's the fact that Zayn is still very much present in his mind, but he has a strong feeling that it's the latter. 

He's walking up the staircase leading to the Gryffindor common room, when Zayn is suddenly on the steps in front of him, blocking his way. 

"I heard you went out with Andrea Whitby." 

"Hello to you too, Zayn." 

"Do you like her?" Zayn continues, his brows furrowing a little. 

"As much as you like Perrie," Harry replies. 

They stand there, their eyes wide and challenging, fixed on one another as if they're daring the other to make the first move. The jealousy is evident between them, along with words they haven't had the courage to say, and they are the very definition of unfinished business with zero closure. 

To Harry's surprise, Zayn makes the first move. He swiftly moves forward, grabbing Harry around the waist, and he leans in suddenly, their lips crashing together painfully. The kiss is messy and desperate, but the emotion is so overwhelming, Harry can feel tears pricking his eyes. Zayn still tastes the same, like sugar and cigarettes, and it makes Harry ache. They continue on like this, fingers grabbing at clothes and hair, tongues pushing, teeth smashing, with faint grunts between them. They keep going until they can't breathe. They keep going until they taste blood. 

It ends almost as quickly as it began, and they let go of each other, and the only thing that can be heard is the sound of their heavy breathing. They lock eyes for a few seconds, but without a word, Harry steps back, and continues on his way, leaving Zayn on the staircase. 

\- - - 

It's the end of the school year, they have all passed their N.E.W.T. exams. Harry is about ready to collapse, and sleep for an entire week, but the boys want to celebrate. 

"I don't even think I've seen you study," Harry says to Louis. 

Louis just shrugs, as he looks over his near perfect marks on the parchment. "What can I say? I just have it all. Beauty, brains, boyfriend." 

Liam grins, picks Louis up around his waist, and kisses him. 

Harry sighs, and shakes his head, while smiling at them fondly, then he turns to look at Niall. "Can I please go take a nap now? For about a month?" 

"You're mad if you think I'm going to let you sleep," Niall says. "I haven't studied that hard in my entire academic career, and now I believe I deserve a drink. Or two. Or ten." 

Harry can't deny that getting completely drunk to the point where he forgets his exhaustion and lingering sadness is appealing, so as usual, he gives into his friends, and agrees to join in on their spontaneous party planning. 

A couple hours later, Harry finds himself staring at a familiar sight as he stands in the large secret room under the staircase, surrounded by drunk seventh years belonging to different Houses, and it's reminiscent of the party where he kissed Zayn for the first time. He tries to numb the pain in his chest by taking a large gulp of a drink concocted by Niall (he's unsure of what's inside, but all he knows is that various liquors are mixed in with no juice whatsoever). But before he can dull the ache in his body, he sees Zayn walking through the door. Alone. No Perrie in sight. Harry tries to avoid Zayn's eyes, but it's too late, and he's already making his way over. 

"You passed your N.E.W.T.s?" Zayn asks, smiling a little. 

Harry is surprised with himself when he returns Zayn's smile with one of his own. "Yeah. I guess I don't have to ask if you did too." 

"I get to start my training at St. Mungo's after graduation. I'm a bit nervous, but I really want it." 

"You're going to be a really good Healer, Zayn." 

"And you'll be a brilliant Auror." 

Harry shrugs, and he laughs faintly, "We'll see. I have an interview after graduation, as well, and they'll see if I'm fit to start training." 

"No doubt in my mind you'll get it." 

"Thanks, Zayn." 

They're quiet again as they observe the party around them, but Harry is aware that Zayn is inching closer because he can feel the warmth of the boy's skin on his own. Harry's breath hitches in his throat, and he slowly turns to look at Zayn. 

"Where's Perrie?" he asks. 

"Not here," Zayn answers. He chews on his lip, and his brows furrow, then he leans in like he's dying to say something, but he hesitates for a moment. Harry is patient, and quiet as he waits. Another few seconds pass, and Zayn finally speaks again. "Wanna go for a walk?" 

And Harry doesn't hesitate with his answer. 

"Yes." 

They sneak out of the party unnoticed, and Harry doesn't know where Zayn is taking him, but when he starts leading them both into the library, he feels his heart pounding. Walking up the spiral staircase does something to Harry's body, since he associates this place with happy memories (and happy endings). 

"What are we doing here?" Harry asks, as he walks past the dusty bookshelves, tracing his finger along the dirt, then wipes it clean on the front of his jeans. 

Zayn slips his hands into his pockets, slowly trailing behind Harry. "It's the only place I know that's ours." 

The answer causes Harry's heart to skip a beat, then he stops walking, and slowly turns around to face Zayn. He knows he shouldn't be quick to give in because someone who dropped him doesn't deserve forgiveness, but it's been over a year now, and Zayn's not just "someone." 

"It is ours," Harry says, his voice cracking a little, and he looks down because he's afraid if he stares at Zayn's face any longer, he'll cry, and that's the last thing he wants to do. 

Zayn takes his hands out of his pockets, takes a step closer to Harry, and gently cradles his face. Harry shuts his eyes as he feels Zayn's thumbs brushing against his cheek, and he really can't help but lean in, letting out a short, trembling sigh as he does so. He slides his arms around Zayn's thin waist, and it feels frail and delicate beneath his touch. The warmth and closeness is something Harry misses, and he allows himself to bask in the moment, and be swept away by Zayn's familiar scent. 

Harry is unsure how long they stay like this, and he can't exactly pinpoint when they start kissing. Their lips move slowly and softly, and their touches are sweet, though a little hesitant, like they're afraid to break each other. The phrase "making love" is attached to the act of sex, but Harry swears that being here with Zayn, fingertips brushing skin, mingled breaths, and tasting each others mouths - this, too, is making love. 

They kiss and touch until they can't anymore. Until their eyes are heavy with exhaustion, and they fall asleep in each other's arms, their lips sore and tingling. This is the first time in a while that Harry sleeps without being plagued with nightmares. 

When he wakes, he sees the pinkish purple hue of dawn through the window, and he glances down to see that Zayn is still asleep on the couch next to him. Harry recalls last night, and he smiles a little, but he also feels a slight twinge of pain tugging on his heart. Last night was beautiful, but he knows what it was. It was Wonderland, or Neverland. A type of fantasy world they temporarily escaped to, but waking up the next day is like sliding back into reality, and Harry isn't ready for it. He doesn't want to experience another heartbreak, so he leans down to the sleeping boy, kisses his lips one more time, and quietly leaves. 

\- - - 

**4 years later.**

"You are awfully slow," Niall is sitting just outside the Auror Department as Harry briskly walks out, lugging a suitcase filled with documents. "Louis is going to throw a fit if we don't get there in time-- Hello, Mr. Weasley! You going to the World Cup?" 

Niall's boss, Arthur Weasley, is making his way out of their department. "Hello, Niall!" he calls out. "And yes, I am. Whole family is coming out-- Ah, there you are, Harry! Off we go, then?" 

Harry knows Arthur Weasley isn't talking to him, so he turns and sees the Head of the Auror Office stepping into the hallway. He's not an intimidating man, with his skinny frame, and glasses, but there's something about him that commands respect. He brushes his dark, unruly hair from his forehead, and Harry briefly catches a glimpse of a faint lightning bolt scar. 

\- - - 

Harry and Niall arrive at the Quidditch World Cup campsite, and it's unbelievably cramped with barely any room to move around, but Louis is an enthusiastic fan, and he's been there since the wee hours of the morning. The reason behind his enthusiasm could be because his fiancé is the Keeper for the English National Team. 

"I've been here all day, setting up camp without any help, and where were you two?" Louis jabs his finger at Harry and Niall. 

"Off being responsible adults at work?" Harry says. "And who filled in for your class today, Professor?" 

"Don't know, don't care. Defense Against the Dark Arts can wait," Louis pretends to swoon. "My husband-to-be is going to humiliate Poland today." 

Harry laughs, and he trails behind Niall and Louis who both make their way inside the tent, but he suddenly stops short when he sees a familiar face just a few tents down. They lock eyes, and he can feel his entire body react as if nothing has changed. 

Harry hasn't seen Zayn since graduation, and he can't believe what a difference four years can make. If Zayn was beautiful before, he's on a different level now, and it makes Harry's legs feel weak. His hair is pulled back in a bun, showing off his sharp features, and the scruff on his jaw just accentuates it, and Harry's lips tingle, remembering how he would press kisses right there. 

Zayn is staring back at Harry, his expression mixed with happiness and disbelief, and he starts to walk closer. 

Louis suddenly sticks his head out of the tent. "Oh, I forgot to tell you. Zayn's going to--" he looks to the right, sees Zayn making his way towards them, then turns back to Harry. "Oh. Guess now you know. Bye!" He flashes a mischievous grin, and disappears into the tent again. 

Zayn slows down as he approaches Harry, keeping a little bit of distance between them. He looks hesitant, but excited, and that only makes Harry want to move closer. 

"I hear you're a big time Auror now," Zayn says, and a faint smile tugs on his lips. 

"And I hear you're a big time Healer," Harry bites his lip, then he looks down, and laughs. "I would've visited, but, uh... I haven't been sick, or.. yeah." His cheeks turn red, and he shakes his head, embarrassed with his awkwardness. 

"Well, I would've visited you, but I'm not a criminal," Zayn says, and Harry can't help but laugh. They both step closer, as if gravity is pulling them together, and Harry realizes that it's never stopped. And it never will stop. 

"It's funny, isn't it?" Harry says. "Six years ago, Louis was absolutely dying over Liam, and now they're engaged." 

Zayn smiles, then nods. "He did once say he was going to be Mr. Louis Payne. Funny how certain things work out." 

"And funny how certain things don't," Harry says without thinking, but when he realizes what had come out of his mouth, he blushes, and looks down, then mumbles, "Sorry." 

Zayn shakes his head, and he looks down too. "No, please don't be sorry. It's... it's alright. You know, um... lots of things have happened, and--" 

"It's okay," Harry interrupts, putting on a wide, fake smile. "It's been four years, you know? I think we've both moved on sometime during then" 

Zayn crosses his arms, and he nods, but he doesn't say anything. But even if he wanted to, Louis runs out of the tent completely decked out from head to toe in red and white, which were the English team's colors. 

"Off to the stadium, we go!" he exclaims, then beckons the boys to follow him. 

Zayn is hesitant, then he steps back, and smiles apologetically. "I'm here with my family, so I'll just watch the game with them. I'll catch up with you all later." 

\- - - 

Harry had barely paid attention to the game. He couldn't. As he sat there, he saw Zayn along with his parents, sisters, and a few more of his relatives sitting several rows away. It had been distracting, and Harry couldn't pretend that he was completely fine with this. It was an unfortunate thing, since he loves Quidditch, and had been looking forward to this game for a long time. 

But now they're all filing out of the stadium, and those decked out in red and white cheering the English team's victory. Louis is on the brink of tears as he clutches his red and white pom poms. 

"Oh my god, they've won," he says in between deep breaths. "I'm engaged to a Quidditch star." 

It's chaos back at the campsite, and everyone's gathered around bonfires in front of their tents, and there's music, dancing, and laughter, celebrating the triumph of their team. 

Harry isn't in much of a celebrating mood, but he smiles for the sake of Louis and Niall, though his mood takes more of a nosedive when he sees Zayn walking towards their tent. 

"Boys," he says, and Louis and Niall lunge at him, almost tackling him over. Zayn laughs, and claps Louis on the back. "Congratulations!" 

"Thank you!" Louis beams, as if he's the one who had been on the pitch. Then his expression softens a little as he looks from Zayn to Harry, and he quickly takes Niall's arm, and starts pulling him away. "Be good, you two!" 

The two boys are left there, standing awkwardly in silence as the chaos continues on around them, but a moment later, Zayn is the first to speak. 

"Listen," he says quietly. "I really can't beat around the bush. We were best friends, and even now, I still consider you one of my best friends, even if you don't feel the same. And I hurt you, which I never meant to do. But I was... I was so frightened, and I had let my family talk me out of something that was making me really happy. You, Harry... you made me happy, and I let go of it so easily because I was young and scared. And I'm afraid if I don't say all of this now, I'll never have the courage to do so again." 

Harry inhales sharply, disbelief in his expression since he hadn't expected this long confession and apology from Zayn. These are the words he had been waiting for, but now that it's here, he's unsure what to do. His insides are a mixture of relief, happiness, and a great deal of nervousness since he wasn't sure what could possibly come next. He hesitates for a moment, then he finally looks up. "Zayn, I'm sorry--" 

"Harry," Zayn cuts him off, and he wraps his fingers around his wrist, and Harry can feel goosebumps erupt on his flesh beneath Zayn's touch. "You know I'm here with my family." 

"I know," Harry says, and he visibly deflates. "I'm sorry, I won't come around--" 

"Do you want to meet them?" 

Harry blinks, wondering if he's heard Zayn correctly, and when he doesn't reply, Zayn just smiles, then he slides his fingers down to Harry's hand, their palms pressing together. 

"It's about time," Zayn continues. "Don't you think?" 

A soft breath escapes Harry's lips, and he nods, then he lets out a quiet laugh. "Y-Yeah," he replies. "About time." 

Their fingers lace, and Zayn leads Harry across the campsite, towards his family's tent. Harry is unsure what to expect, or where they'll go from here. But one thing is for certain. He will never walk away from Zayn again.


End file.
